Using Pregnancy to Save a Marriage From Divorce

Separation is a traumatic life event that can bring out a lot of raw human emotions. In order to avoid this outcome, many couples will seek other options, such as couples’ counselling. However, others, in moments of desperation, will go to the extremes of getting pregnant or getting their spouse pregnant as a way of locking them into the relationship. This is dangerous behaviour that rarely, if ever, has a positive affect on the situation. 

Pregnancy Will Not Fix Relationship Problems

A pregnancy just when one spouse wants to leave can make someone feel trapped, causing people to become agitated, frustrated, and angry. This is certainly not a healthy environment for a pregnant mother nor the platform on which to rebuild a relationship. Even if the pregnancy is good news, the problems in the relationship will not automatically resolve themselves, but will instead just be temporarily pushed aside.

Eventually these same problems will rise to the surface and lead to the separation conversation again. But this time  the conversations will be even more difficult as there there will be a child involved as well.  Also, keep in mind that there is a possibility the couple will separate regardless, and she will be forced to continue the pregnancy on her own during a very difficult time.

Pregnancy Amplifies Emotions

During a pregnancy, women can experience many different and strong emotions.  Even in good times, the world may feel like its crashing, leaving an expectant mom feeling depressed and anxious. Being surrounded by a lot of stress during a pregnancy can have huge implications on the mother’s health and the child’s health, including miscarriage. Using pregnancy as a strategy to save a marriage will likely amplify all of her experiences.

Pregnancy Will Not Save A Marriage

In a healthy relationship, pregnancy can be one of the best times of a couple’s life and the next step together. In an challenged relationship, pregnancy can be a time of additional stress and despair. Although pregnancy may seem like a foolproof plan to keep your spouse in the marriage, there are lots of ways it can turn against you and make the process more difficult to manage.  Instead of pregnancy, now is the time to speak with a counselor.

Picture of Simonetta Lanzi

Simonetta Lanzi

Family Lawyer Ajax, ON

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