Divorce for kids can be really tough. In most situations, the best parent for your child is both parents. Each parent likely has unique importance to the child and can offer different and genuine experiences that may not be found in one person alone. Children can suffer enormous emotional trauma when one parent talks poorly about the other or alienates the child from the other parent. Making children pick sides creates an unsafe place for children and will likely effect long term implications.
During a divorce, it is common to seek out positive social supports. However, avoid using your children as a support mechanism. This behaviour crosses boundaries in the relationship with your child and places an undue burden on them. It is not their job to make you happy and this pressure could lead to psychological problems in your child later in life.
It is common for parents to explain to their children that they are breaking up because they don’t love each other anymore. But, when explanations are too detailed, beyond your child’s age appropriate ability to understand, it can have an impact on your child’s early development. For instance, it is likely careless to share that your spouse has cheated on you or has addiction problems with a young child. Your children does not need to know this at this time in their life.
Regardless of the reasons for breaking up, children have the right to see both parents. The change that divorce brings is difficult enough, children don’t need to feel guilty about your martial problems. Some children can be very tolerant and understanding regarding divorce while others are devastated. Much of it will depend on how well the parents manage the situation now. Child-centered divorces when parents work to be cooperative, are proven to help kids have a positive experiences now and later in their own relationships.
Children's Mediator & Client Care Coordinator
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