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For some, there is nothing positive that comes out of getting divorced. Unfortunately, this mindset will likely make a difficult divorce experience even worse. Divorcing someone means you are breaking away from old disputes and problems. This is the time for serious self-care. Those who view their divorce as a new opportunity and a period of growth, will end up developing a stronger sense of self and the ability to move forward optimistically.
Some people go into divorce refusing to act cooperatively and expecting to control the settlement agreement. Unfortunately, unreasonable personalities tend to escalate conflict and hinder negotiations. Try to stay cooperative and be open to changes.
“What is fair” is very subjective. Therefore instead of fixating yourself on exactly 50% of anything and everything, strategically make compromises so you can achieve the things that matter most to you and your family. Think of your new life and not only what you need, but also who you need to be, as you move forward. Do not let your emotional connection to settlement pieces now dominate how you cooperate and turn you into someone you do not want to be later.
New relationships – one of the biggest reasons why couples have nightmare divorces. When an ex-partners move on, it brings out very raw human emotions, even if we were the ones that were wronged or who instigated the divorce. New relationships by one or both parties, often raise very base human desires to punish, “spank,” frustrate or anger the other that often lead to expensive breakdowns in negotiation. If possible, avoid new relationships until this is all over.
None of these scenarios are good for your well-being or your wallet. The key to avoiding a nightmare divorce is to strategically plan your own actions while not taking the bait on other’s actions. Divorce is a stressful enough already.
Client Services Coordinator
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